


Coffee, Heroes, and College Shenanigans

by orphan_account



Category: Young Justice - All Media Types
Genre: (im not gonna update this sorry bros), Alternate Universe - College/University, F/M, Gen, but its not really au, click on this if you want to read crapily written spitfire fic, youll see - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-22
Updated: 2017-01-15
Packaged: 2018-09-11 01:50:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8948872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Artemis was never a superhero and is a barista, Wally and Zatanna are retired superheroes, Dick and Babs aren't so retired. First meetings happen and literal chaos ensues.UNIVERSITY AU BUT NOT(Pure fluff and tbh mostly crack)(Probably dead and never updating)





	1. First Meetings, Vowed Revenge, and Not-So-Retired Retired Superheros

**Author's Note:**

> Haha I accidentally deleted this so reposting

If you really got down to it, it all had to be blamed on the coffee. Well, it was actually Artemis’s fault. But she would never admit that. See, she wouldn't be stuck in this position right now if she wasn't addicted to coffee (really being a poor college student was a factor too), is what she kept telling herself. But really, she wouldn't be stuck in this position right now had she not decided to be such a …. She doesn't quite know what, but she knows it's her fault. Partly her fault. 

It's also Wally West’s fault. Wally West. Ugh. She hated Wally West. Wally West with his tussled bright red hair and the hand he was always running through it, he was going to go bald by the time he was thirty if he kept handling it like that. Wally West with his emerald green eyes with flecks of gold, they just look... well, she can’t find a proper way to insult them, but they suck too. Wally West with his shit eating grin. Ugh. Wally West. She hated everything about him.

She especially hated how he managed to get them locked in a closet of a sorority house that  is quite possibly doubling as a murder house because by god there is an alarming amount of teeth in jars. Labeled jars. Labeled in fancy script with names jars. Not to mention an alarming amount of surgical tools. Rusty, bloody surgical tools. Artemis wasn’t alarmed (she had seen far worse back when her father was training her), but Wally was freaking out. And she was pretty sure he was going to start either crying or puking. 

Really, for any of this to make sense you need to know the beginning (even then it might not make sense because Artemis is pretty sure she was on crack for the past week and a half.) 

\--- 

It was a regular Tuesday afternoon for Artemis. She was working, as usual. But today wasn't your average day. Today is when she would meet the dreaded Wally West. 

Wally, whom she did not know yet, was waiting in line with his best friend Dick Grayson. Wally had a huge ass paper due the next night and he hadn't even started. Of course he decided in his free time it'd be fun to do some Vietnamese Lit courses. Why he thought so was beyond him. He was a scientist. Not a literaturist. He was so unversed in the subject he didn't even know the name of a professional literary person, if they even had a name. 

“Dude, I don't get why you decided to do this class. It's obviously killing you,” Dick pointed out. 

“Yeah,” Wally ran a hand through his hair, “I dunno. I honestly think this class  _ is  _ gonna kill me.” 

“Just get your coffee and power through this paper,” Dick suggested, “What's the worst that can happen?”

Answer: a hell of a lot. There was the cheese thing, the feathers, snakes, and let's not forget the numerous tiny dildos. But we'll get to that. 

For now we have to focus on the whole Tuesday thing.  

Artemis had been drumming along all day. Acclimating herself to the usual humdrum shift at work. Perhaps the only bright side was her friend Zatanna and all the dirty jokes, and the free java. It was of course the reason she started working here. 

“Don't forget to get the filters from storage, Zee!” Artemis yelled back, before turning to the customer in front of her. 

 

“Hey, sugar,” he greeted, and Artemis had the sudden urge to hit something, namely him. In the face. With a chair. 

“Hi,” Artemis grit out, trying to sound as polite as possible, “What can I get for you today?” 

“Your number,” he replied smoothly. But Artemis just rolled her eyes. 

“I'm sorry, that's not on the menu,” she said sweetly, “But I'm sure you can find something you want that is.”

The guy standing next to the impossible redhead snuffed a laugh, making it sound more like a snort. 

“Large hot chocolate, please,” he paused. 

Artemis rolled her eyes again as she printed his order on the cup. 

“Name?” she asked, largely annoyed. 

“Wally,” he replied before leaning over the counter, “But you can call me anytime.”

Artemis rolled her eyes before she scrawled “Wall-e” on his cup in her messy print and passed it off to Barbara, her favorite barista after Zatanna. Maybe tied with Zatanna. 

The blonde leaned against the counter, and sighed, deeply annoyed. 

“Flirty customer?” Barbara asked, filling the cup. 

“Yep,” Artemis sighed, picking up a straw and twirling it in between her fingers. 

“Wait, wait, let me guess which one!” Zatanna laughed, butting in the conversation after floating into the room.,

“We’ve been over this Zee, you’re not psychic, ” Barbara groaned, but honestly it sounded more like a laugh. 

“Hmm,” Zee pondered, scanning the room, “Blonde, table three.”

“No.”

“It’s Wally, table six,” Barbara said. 

“Wally?” Zatanna asked, “Oh it’s so going to be a thing.” 

“I don’t see Artemis and Wally being a thing,” Babs said, “I’m going to say this: he seems like a huge dick but he’s basically a garbage disposal mashed with a teddy bear, you just gotta get to know him.” 

“Actually yeah, Babs is pretty spot on with the description,” Zatanna agreed

“Wait, you both know him?” Artemis asked. 

“I know him from high school,” Zatanna said

You do realize I’m dating his best friend,” Babs said. 

“ _ That’s _ Wally?” Artemis was surprised. In the stories Babs told Wally always seemed sweet and kind of funny. Not like that grade A d-bag.

“Yeah, what were you expecting?” Barbara chuckled. 

“Not a total d-bag like him,” Artemis replied, “I would seriously be okay if I never see him again.” 

“And you won’t” Zatanna smiled, it was a devious smile, and Artemis knew it meant bad news. “After you bring him his coffee.” 

“Ugh,” Artemis groaned,knowing better than to argue because Zatanna was more stubborn than a rock, “Why me?” 

\---

“Why me?” Wally groaned, putting his head in his hands. 

“I’m not the one who suggested you fulfill your literature requirement with one of the hardest courses available,” Dick said, sipping his coffee. 

“I wanted a challenge!” Wally exclaimed, “I didn’t think it would this big of a challenge. _ ” _

As stated earlier, Wally isn’t quite sure why he took the lit class. Well, he  _ did _ have a literature requirement, but he should’ve taken something easy like Creative Writing 101. Wally had decided on a science focused major just so he wouldn’t have to do a literature class. But fun fact: he needed two semesters if he wanted his degree. 

Wally noticed the blonde barista he was brutally rejected by chuckling (probably at his pain) as she sat next in the table next to them, straddling the chair so she could face them. 

“I heard someone’s having trouble in school,” she poked, not quite sure why she was talking to them, “Specifically Vietnamese Lit.” 

“Me?” Wally puffed his chest out, “The Wall-Man doesn’t have trouble in school, especially not in no literature class.” 

“Wall-Man?” Dick sighed before putting his face in his hands and muttering something close to “I fucking tried. I did my best.” 

“So, Wall-Man,” Artemis drawled, “What exactly is your grade in the class?” 

Wally grumbled out something that was supposed to be inaudible but Artemis heard the “C minus” perfectly. 

Artemis snorted before leaning closer and putting her hand up to her ear, “What was that Wall-Man, I couldn’t hear you.” 

“C minus,” he said a little louder this time. 

“What?” Artemis leaned in closer, still not completely sure what she was doing here. 

“C minus!” he half-yelled at her. 

Dick stifled a snicker, followed by a “Dude! You told me you had a B plus!” 

“Sunk so low as to be lying to your friends,” Artemis tsked, “That is a slippery slope my friend.” 

“What do you know?” Wally said, all too loudly for a coffee shop, “Who are you?”

Artemis raised an eyebrow, mostly at herself. What did she know? She had just met these people, and yet she was sitting here bantering with them like they were old friends. She tried not to think about it too much. It would confuse her, and Artemis hated being confused, especially when it was her own brain causing it.  

“Artemis Crock,” she replied, sticking out a hand for him to shake. But he didn’t. Instead both he and Dick found it an appropriate to spit out the coffee they were both drinking. 

“Artemis… Crock?” they asked in unison. 

“What,” it was more of a bland rhetorical statement than a question, and it was just a cover for the internal FUCK moment Artemis was having because

_ Oh my god what if they recognize my name and have heard of Jade or Dad _ . 

“Nothing!” Dick answered quickly, “Nothing at all.” 

“We were just surprised someone would name their kid Artemis,” Wally agreed

“Not that we don’t like your name,” Dick continued seamlessly, 

“It’s a very pretty name,” Wally added 

“It was just…” Dick trailed off, but it wasn’t really trailing off because Wally jumped it so it flowed as one sentence. 

“Unusual,” Wally finished. 

The two of them managed to execute the conversation so seamlessly, so attuned to what the other was going to say it might as well have been one person talking. It was kind of freaky, and it had Artemis leaning away from them, and forgetting her previous train of thought. 

“Okay,” she replied slowly.

“Anyway,” Dick started, “For future reference I am Dick Grayson.” 

Dick did a little bow in his chair. 

“West. Wally West,” Wally made a gun out of his fingers and held them like James Bond. 

Artemis so badly wanted to make fun of him, but she had to be getting back to work. 

“I will settle this later,” she stood. “But I have to get back to work.”

“Bye,” Dick gave her a little wave, but Wally sat like a lame duck. 

“Dude,” Dick whispered, kicking Wally from under the table. 

“Ow! Dude!” Wally exclaimed before turning to Artemis, “Bye.” 

Artemis rolled her eyes. “Oh, and I thought you should know I’m getting an A in Vietnamese Literature,” she told them before sauntering off to her post behind the counter. Babs was gone, she was with Dick and had planted a kiss on his cheek before Artemis looked away. 

 

\--- 

 

The blonde scowled as she shuffled through her backpack. Artemis couldn’t find her keys, it was late, and she’s pretty sure Zatanna wouldn’t be home for several more hours . Finals week was extremely stressful, and Zatanna had been putting in extra hours at the library every night for the past three weeks to study. 

Artemis cursed and pulled her phone out of her backpack. 

“Come on,” she said to herself as the phone rang. 

_ “Hi, this is Zatanna, leave a message after the-”  _ Artemis hung up the phone. 

“Goddamnit.” 

 

_ Star City Harbor  _

“I can’t believe you pulled me out of retirement for this!” Zatanna shouted at Nightwing before sending one of the goons flying with a well placed roundhouse kick to the face,  _ “Eit pu siht noog.” _

“Same, dude!” Kid-Flash yelled as he skid to a stop in the warehouse.  

“Stop complaining,” Batgirl sounded through the comms, “You know you missed it.” 

“So besides the point!” Kid Flash shot back as he barrelled into a group of thugs. 

“All of you guys shut up we’re on a mission  not having a picnic!” Nightwing yelled at all of them. 

Both the Kid Flash and Zatanna shut up partly because Nightwing was right, and partly because Batgirl was right. They both missed the life, but college was far better suited for them. 

Zatanna and Kid Flash took out the remaining Rent-a-Thugs as Nightwing and Batgirl worked on destroying the shipments of the Venom.

“Alright!” Kid Flash yelled as the crates blew up, “That was eas-”

“Don’t!” Zatanna, Batgirl, and Nightwing shouted at once. 

\--- 

Artemis was not helpless, so after she couldn’t find her key she did the next logical option. She picked her own lock. It took about as long to unlock it if she were using a key, she just had to mess up her only paperclips. Because see, in her brain a logical answer wouldn’t be to go to the front desk and tell them she was locked out, it wasn’t even to call Zatanna to ask if they had a spare anywhere. Nope, because Artemis Crock was raised a soldier. A soldier who knows several things, including lock picking, extreme hand to hand combat, weapons training, torture techniques, among other things. 

The blonde flopped down onto the couch after throwing her stuff in her room.  She really should be studying or doing something useful, but Artemis was going to take a nap. A much needed nap.

Artemis woke up at about three in the morning to the sound of keys jangling outside the door. Zatanna kicked the door open upon entry the loud bang making Artemis jump. 

“Where have you been?” Artemis exclaimed, feeling like she sounded like her mother would after a long night on patrol. 

“Partying,” Zatanna answered casually, dropping her keys in the dish by the front door. 

“Zee it’s finals week no one’s partying they’re all too busy having mental breakdowns.” 

“Party girls party,” Zatanna shrugged. 

Artemis eyed Zatanna carefully and didn’t feel the need to argue because she wasn’t Zatanna’s mother. Artemis did notice a bruise of the back of Zatanna’s neck, and a weird little limp she did. But she said nothing, everyone has secrets. 

Especially her. 

\---

Artemis was barrelling down the sidewalk, clutching her laptop bag to her chest as she desperately ran to answer Zatanna’s SOS. Artemis got the text when she was in the middle of studying at Wayne Library. Zatanna knows only to use SOS in emergencies so Artemis knew it had to be bad, and if she was being honest she really wanted to get out of studying for her finals. 

The door was slightly ajar when Artemis got to the apartment and she cursed, hoping Zatanna had the brains to call the police if anything bad was happening. Artemis walked into the apartment to find Wally rifling through the cabinets and Dick was at the kitchen table eating cereal. 

“What the hell is going on?” Artemis said, although it sounded more like a statement than a question.

“I can’t get them to leave!” Zatanna pointed at Wally, “And he’s eating all out food.” 

“So why did you use SOS? And Why was the door open?” Artemis asked. 

“Because they know me and aren’t listening, but they’re scared of you.” 

Artemis plopped her stuff down on the couch, and stared at Wally and Dick. 

“Both of you, out. Now,” she said sternly. 

“Now there, beautiful,” Wally replied, “You n-.”

“Out. Now,” she repeated, “And you can take your ‘beautiful’ and shove it up your ass.” 

From his seat at the table Dick started cackling, “She shut you down.” 

“You too!” she shouted at him.

She grabbed them both by the collars and dragged them out of the apartment.

“But, beaut- Artemis,” Wally pouted, 

“Good-bye, Wally.” Artemis shut the door. 

“Don’t think this is over Zatanna I will get you back for this!” Dick yelled, 

“Even if it’s the last thing we do!” Wally added. 


	2. Pranks, What is Possible a Murder House, and More Not-so-Retired Superheroes and One Who Never Was a Superhero but Probably Should've Been

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Artemis takes revenge on the revenge, the murder house point brought up earlier is finally addressed, Wally finds out that Artemis can kick ass, and I'm really bad at summaries.

Artemis did not take Wally and Dick’s threat to heart, that was her first mistake. The second one was renting an apartment with a yard. The third one was not listening to Zatanna the day Wally and Dick swore vengeance over the pettiest incident to have ever occurred in her life. It was part of the reason Artemis thought their threats weren’t serious. 

“Oh no Artemis, this is bad. This is really bad,” Zatanna had told her the day it happened, “They get really intense about this stuff.” 

“All I did was kick them out of  _ our _ apartment,” Artemis had replied. 

“I’m just going to pray we manage to make it through the hellfire you’ve brought upon,” Zatanna clasped her hands in a prayer, and Artemis had laughed at her. At the time. 

But this morning when she walked out of her room and literally everything was covered in bubble wrap. Artemis stood in her bedroom doorway, dumbfounded. How had she not heard them? How long did this take them? Even the floors walls and ceilings were bubble wrapped, how was that even possible? 

Zatanna got up just a few minutes after Artemis, “You believe me now?” 

“I believe your friends are a little psychotic,” Artemis commented. 

“Oh my god,” Zatanna breathed, “Look at our yard.” 

Artemis looked out the picture window at their little section of yard; and it had about a hundred signs in the yard for literally every political representative in town, all of them coated in snow. It must’ve cost them a fortune. 

“How did they manage to do this without waking us up?” Artemis asked. 

“They’re manic pranking machines,” Zatanna replied, walking over the bubble wrap softly, the floor popping beneath her feet. The noise made Artemis cringe, and she’s pretty sure she’s the only living human who doesn’t like bubble wrap. 

“Okay, seriously?” Zatanna shouted from the kitchen, “They even bubble wrapped our food.”

Zatanna waved a box of cheerios around, “Do they want us to starve?”

Artemis gave up and walked to the kitchen, “You should really tell them to come up with a more original prank, I’m seriously considering pranking them back just to show them how it’s done.” 

“I think they get extra points for doing a classic on steroids, plus there was the whole yard,” Zatanna replied, “And please don’t prank them back I don’t think I can do this again.” 

“I could really show them how it’s done,” Artemis was really more talking to herself. 

“Arty no,” Zatanna’s voice was small, knowing her protests were pretty much useless. 

“I’ve made up my mind, Zee,” Artemis stood up straighter, “We are going to prank those sons of bitches and we’re gonna prank them good.” 

Zatanna knew to accept her fate, her head shaking as she was imagining what plan Artemis would dream up of to get them killed. 

\---

“The entire apartment was covered in bubble wrap,” Babs clarified, “And my boyfriend was responsible.”

“Yes!” Artemis and Zatanna exclaimed at the same time, several kids shooting them dirty looks that said  _ Shut up this is a library and because it is finals week I’ll have no problem cutting your eyeballs out.  _

“And Wally,” Artemis added. 

“Even the walls?” Barbara asked. 

“The ceiling and floor too,” Zatanna nodded. 

“The floor? That’s impressive,” Babs said. 

“No, it’s not,” Artemis replied, “It’s stupid, and childish, and annoying.”

“Says the girl who decided to prank them back,” Zatanna interjected. 

Barbara snorted, “ _ You _ want to prank them back?” 

“Speaking of which, Babs please tell her how bad of an idea this is,” Zatanna said. 

“This might be the worst idea you’ve ever had,” Babs agreed, “And you're the same girl who decides it’s worse to study for finals than not studying.” 

“Hey, I haven’t failed a final yet,” Artemis protested.

“Don’t change the subject,” Zatanna replied. 

Babs pushed the stack of books that was in front of her off to the side, and leaned in real close to Artemis. 

“I’m only going to say this once, so you better listen,” Barbara started, “Wally and Dick are mad geniuses when it comes to pranks. They are cold, heartless, machines and if you try and oppose them they will take you down.”

“So you both keep saying,” Artemis sat up, “But I am sure I can handle myself.” 

“When you try to get revenge make sure to dig two graves,” Zatanna said. 

“Good idea,” Artemis replied, “That way I can fucking bury both of them.”

“That’s not what she meant,” Babs chided. 

“I know what she meant,” Artemis rolled her eyes, “I’m not stupid I know how the saying goes.” 

“So you also know that this is literal suicide?” Zatanna asked in an exasperated tone. 

Artemis grabbed her things and stood up. “Yes,” she shook her head, “And I can promise you that I won’t die.” 

“Suit yourself,” Barbara leaned back in her chair, “Just don’t get me involved.” 

“Me either,” Zatanna added. 

“Whatever guys,” Artemis shrugged,  “I gotta get to work.” 

\---

For the life of her, Artemis could not decide why Wally and Dick had come back to the Starbucks she worked at, and why they kept staring at her. She assumed it had something to with the prank, but they hadn’t made one attempt to talk about it. Hadn’t even made one attempt to talk to her (Dick seemed to be doing actual work though, Wally seemed to just be sitting there). 

Artemis checked the clock, they had been her for three hours, and that was just since she got here. Zatanna and Babs would be getting here any moment to start their shifts, signalling the end of her work day. It was a slow day, and Artemis had taken to wiping down tables to make it seem like she was actually doing something with her time and not just sitting around and waiting for her shift to be up. 

“Hey,” Wally said, sitting down at the table she was currently wiping. “How’s your day been?” 

Artemis sat in the chair across from him. “Why the hell did you and Dick bubble wrap out apartment?”

“Revenge,” Wally growled, way too intensely in Artemis’s opinion. 

“Well,” Artemis hit him with the damp rag, “if you ask me it was a rather lousy prank.”  
Wally made a strange sputtering noise, like a car that couldn’t turn on right; and he kept jerking his head about like he was possessed. 

“Lousy?” he finally managed to say, “How was that prank lousy?” 

“It’s the first prank anyone would think of,” Artemis replied, “And the political signs? Really? Lame.” 

“It was a classic!” Wally protested, throwing his arms up. 

Artemis scoffed, leaning back in her chair and propping her feet up on the table. 

“Classic? More like cliche,” Artemis began, “And not to mention the fact that it literally took me and Zatanna only fifteen minutes to undo the bubble wrap, and another five to remove the signs.” 

“It’s not about the time it takes to undo the prank,” Wally enunciated, “It’s about the novelty of when you first see it.”  
“Well, then it still wasn’t a good prank,” Artemis lied, knowing full well she had been pissed/impressed when she was first confronted with the bubble wrap. 

“Oh yeah Miss Thing? I’d like to see you try and do better,” Wally challenged, leaning in. 

“Try me,” Artemis whispered, leaning in so they were only a few inches apart. 

Artemis could feel his breath on her lips and she felt her cheeks getting warm. Quickly leaning back Artemis threw her rag at him. Too close, too soon. 

“I never made fun of you last time, but saying your name like James Bond is like the stupidest thing you could ever do,” Artemis told Wally before grabbing the rag she threw at him and standing up. 

“Yeah?” Wally said, “Well your face is the stupidest thing ever!” 

Artemis nodded but didn’t respond, instead she choose to walk away. 

“Real smooth, Wally,” Dick sat next to him, “Real smooth.” 

\---

By the time Artemis had finished her conversation with Wally, Barbara and Zatanna were just showing up; they were late. Fifteen minutes late. 

“Wait,” Babs said, holding up her hands, “You’re meaning to tell me that he  _ challenged _ you?” 

“Yep,” Artemis replied. 

“And you want to know if we can get our hands on ten pounds of feathers, which is a lot of feathers by the way, and five gallon of honey?” Zatanna asked incredulously. 

“Yep.” 

“Good God, what do you plan on doing to them?” 

“Prank them,” Artemis said casually, “What else would I do with ten pound of feathers and five gallons of honey?” 

“And you just assumed one of us would have those two very strange amounts of objects just lying around?” Babs asked.   
“You guys ask alot of question this isn’t that hard to understand,” Artemis said, “I’m pranking your friends.” 

“I’m still protesting this,” Zatanna interjected, “I will not be an accomplice.”

Artemis had a motherload of pranks all wrapped up into one, all triggered by one thing. 

But if she were to pull this off she needed help. 

“Barbara?” Artemis pleaded, “Please?”

Barbara looked at Wally and Dick, then back to Artemis. “Ugh, fine,” she said finally, “But if we get caught I am ditching you.” 

“Yes!” Artemis fist pumped, “One of you wouldn't have access to a 3-D printer, would you?”  

\---

As it turns out, Barbara had access to a whole room of 3-D printers (thank you Bruce Wayne) and Artemis was thanking the holy lord. 

“I still don’t understand why you need to 3-D print this many things,” Babs had said as she and Artemis watched the printer work (they were surprisingly slow). 

But now, as Barbara watched as Artemis threw the numerous tiny dicks she printed all over Wally and Dicks yard, she understood. 

“God, I’m happy Wally and Dick have a yard,” Artemis laughed as she spray painted on their grass. 

“You realize this is bordering on vandalism,” Babs said, “Actually, I think it  _ is  _ vandalism.”

“It’s water-based, it’ll wash off next time it rains,” Artemis replied, “Which is supposed to be tomorrow.”

“You’re going to get us arrested.” 

“No I’m not, Now we have to go inside.” 

Artemis is actually glad it was Babs coming along because Zatanna does not have keys to Dick and Wally’s house (and Babs was far better and being quiet and sneaking than Zatanna, come to think of it Babs was way too good at sneaking). 

“Just so you know,” Barbara said, pulling the key out of her coat, “They are super light sleeps so absolutely no noise may occur otherwise they will wake up.” 

“Got it. No noise,” Artemis said, “I’ll be fine.” 

And it was true, Artemis had spent the better part of her life being trained to follow in the family business, and for those of you who don’t know the family business is committing larceny. On the grand scale. 

Barbara unlocked the door and soundlessly crept into the house. Artemis followed, knowing full well to tread lightly on the hardwood floors. 

Artemis pointed at the two doors at the end of one of the hallways, wordlessly asking Babs if that was their rooms. Barbara nodded her head yes and Artemis tossed her a bag full of honey bottles and Artemis went to go set up the traps. 

Meanwhile, Babs was busy filling two buckets with honey. She squeezed bottle after bottle of honey into the two buckets, careful not to make it squeak. A several minutes later Artemis had returned, grabbed the buckets, and tossed Babs an empty sack with a ball of clear string and a few feathers stuck to the bottom. 

Babs nodded in affirmation and made her way to the door. The redhead had to admit that Artemis, while maybe a little pathological right now, had a very uniform and efficient way of  pulling this prank off. She was especially good at the sneaking. 

“You’re sure this is going to work?” Barbara asked as they stepped into Artemis’s car. 

“Trust me,” Artemis replied, “If there’s one thing I can do right that’s set a trap.” 

“Okay, but this is a prank. Not a trap.” 

“Same thing,” Artemis waved a hand, “Tomato, Potatoh.” 

“Whatever you say,

\---

It was morning time. Wally’s least favorite time of the day. Dick’s alarm clock was beeping violently. Wally groaned and sat up from his position on the floor. It was only six-thirty in the morning and it felt like a sin to be up this early, especially considering the pounding headache Wally had (which probably had something to do with Dick slamming his head to the floor during a particularly intense sparring match). 

“Dick,” Wally whispered, shaking his best friend who had flopped onto the bed last night, “Babe, wake up.” 

Dick sat up and yawned. “Why’d you wake me?”

“It’s  _ your  _ alarm that’s going off so early,” Wally fired back. 

Dick tried to hit Wally in the head with a pillow, but Wally sped out the way and was in the corner of the room. 

“Not fair!” 

Wally stuck out his tongue. “It’s not my fault the Boy Wonder doesn’t have superpowers.”

Dick rolled out of bed and grumbled something inaudible to Wally’s ears. Dick pulled on a pair of sweatpants and threw on a t-shirt. 

“What’s for breakfast?” Wally asked, flopping onto the bed. 

“Whatever you make,” Dick replied. 

“What I make?” Wally sputtered, “It’s your day to make food.”

Wally sped towards the door and walked out, the rest happened in slow motion (at least for Wally, but it actually happened in real time for Dick). Wally felt his legs trip the trip wire someone had set up and Wally quickly pivoted and maneuvered his way around Dick, pushing him up in the process. Wally was safely back in the room when Dick was drenched in a light golden substance. But that wasn’t the end, less than a second later feathers dropped from god knows where and they stuck all over Dick, like the scene from Home Alone. 

Wally couldn’t stifle the laugh that was building up inside of him, not even when Dick sent him a very accurate Batman death stare. 

“Not. Funny,” he ground out.

“It wasn’t fault, babe!” Wally laughed, dashing out the door past Dick. Wally faltered when he got to the living room. 

“Woah,” he said, “Dude.” 

Dick followed out shortly, and he was the one to cackle. 

“Dude we were pranked!” Dick laughed, honey dripping down his body, “Well looks like you were the target.” 

And it was true, their lawn was covered in what appeared to be tiny dildos and was spray painted with the words  _ You move West _ . 

“What the hell was she thinking?” Wally half shouted, “That’s vandalism!”

“Vandalism or not, it’s funny as hell. I think you’ve made a proper enemy,” Dick laughed, despite having caught the brunt of the pranks seeing as he’s the one covered in the feathers and honey. 

“At least I’m not the one covered in honey and feathers,” Wally pointed out. 

“Oh yeah, speaking of which,” Dick said, embracing Wally in a hug.

“I hate you,” Wally grumbled, not making an attempt to move because he knew Dick would manage to catch him. 

“Of course.”

\---

Artemis really just needed something to hit, like really bad. She had just gotten off from a late night shift and had to deal with a bunch of pervy drunk assholes. It had taken every bit of willpower in her to not deck at least one of them right then and there. It was excruciating having to sit there and deal with their disgusting lines, not being able to do anything but grit her teeth and try to shut them down. It was times like this Artemis wish she could go all vigilante like Batman or Flash or something. Then she’d get to hit people, and others would  _ thank  _ her for it. 

But Artemis had nothing to hit, and the pent up aggression was wound up like a spring, ready to fight. Her hands were balled up in fists and shoved in her pockets, her warm breath coming out in a fog. She stomped when she walked, but her years of training still had her making next to no noise as she did so. 

 

The next block over Kid Flash and Nightwing were on patrol, and they were sitting on a rooftop. 

“Hey, do you remember when you retired?” Nightwing asked, when Kid Flash didn’t respond he continued, “Yeah, me neither.” 

“Shut up,”Wally retorted, “You know I’ve got a lot going on right now.” 

“Yeah, whatever, Wally,” Nightwing said, “You’re busy trying to think of a way to get your girlfriend back, even though she was retaliating against us, who was originally retaliating against her.”

“She’s not my girlfriend,” Kid Flash grumbled. 

“I know,” Nightwing replied, “I just like messing with you.” 

“Dick,” Wally muttered under his breath. 

“You called?” Dick laughed. 

Kid Flash turned to face the street, watching the nonexistent passers byers.  He did notice a blonde woman about to make her way down the block, her golden hair a pale silver in the moonlight. She was walking a brisk pace and was unnoticing of her surroundings. Specifically the guy who seemed to be tailing her. Kid Flash stood up, on ready alert incase he needed to help. 

“What are you looking at?” Nightwing asked, hovering over Kid Flash’s shoulder. 

“The blonde girl with the skeevy shadow,” He pointed at the woman. 

Wally watched as the guy got closer, and closer, and he saw him reach out to grab the girl, and in the blink of an eye Wally had vaulted over the small barrier on the edge of the roof top, and was down besides the girl. He checked the guy, knocking him to the ground. 

“You’re safe now, Miss,” he said, and his eyes widened when he realized it was Artemis. 

“Behind you!” she shouted. Kid Flash turned to see the swing of the pipe and ducked but not fast enough, the guy managed to land a nice whack to the back of KF’s head. He groaned as he sat up, his vision a little blurred. He quickly looked back at Artemis as he realized he left her unprotected. 

He watched as the guy grabbed her wrists, he expected her to start freaking out, and he tried to stand up to help but saw black spots and fell back down. But as it turned out she didn’t need his help. Mere seconds after the guy grabbed her wrists Artemis ripped free and gave a swift kick to stomach. The guy let out a grunt, and pick his pipe back up and swung at her. Artemis ducked and swept his feet out from underneath him. She grabbed the guy by his collar and pulled him up where to proceeded to knock him out. 

“Hey, you okay?” she asked, extending a hand towards him. 

“Yeah,” he responded, grabbing her hand and letting her pull him up. 

“You sure?” Artemis asked, “You took a pretty hard hit to the head.” 

“I’ll be fine,” Wally said, “I’ve had worse.”

“At least let me look at it,” Artemis removed her hand from his grip and brought it to the back of his head. 

Wally was kind of taken aback at how tender she was being, especially after he saw her kick some mega ass. He was also kind of surprised she didn’t recognize his voice and call him out on it. 

“It’ll be useless,” Kid Flash shook his head, “It’s probably already healed anyway.” 

Wally pretended like he didn’t notice the fact that Artemis’s hand was still on the back of his head and was rubbing small circles into the base of his skull. 

“He heals fast,” Nightwing said, leaning against a wall. Artemis quickly removed her hand from Wally’s head and shoved it into her pocket. 

“Gotta go,” Kid Flash said, giving Artemis a small salute, “See you around.”  
Artemis gave him a small smile before he and Dick disappeared into the alleyway. 

“Not your girlfriend, huh?” Dick said once they were a ways away, “Seemed like you couldn’t get enough of her.” 

“Shut it, Grayson,” Wally replied, suddenly feeling guilty because Artemis really wasn’t so bad, and he might’ve done something bad. 

\--- 

Artemis tugged at the hem of the dress she was wearing. She felt uncomfortable in the tight fabric and the heels she was wearing. She didn’t even want to be here, but Zatanna had dragged her to the lame party. 

Zatanna was a party girl, and as she said earlier, party girls party. It was Friday night too, first semester was over and everyone had a glorious three weeks break before they even had to set foot onto Gotham University campus. She had a party she had her sights set on, the last one of the semester. It was at the Kappa Kappa Theta house, and Kappa Kappa Theta parties were  _ legendary _ according to Zatanna. 

“Please?” Zatanna had begged. 

“No,” Artemis would refuse and Zatanna spent a solid five minutes begging before Artemis had agreed to go. Which she now dearly regretted. 

See, Artemis wasn’t a people person, so attending this “legendary” party was not her favorite idea of fun. About a minute after they arrived Zatanna had disappeared in the ever changing throng of people. So Artemis was standing by the refreshments table (which was trashed by the way, it probably once had chip bowls but they were long gone) and holding an untouched alcoholic concoction that was probably disgusting. She looked around for Zatanna, but so far hadn’t spotted her. 

“Arty!” she heard a familiar voice shout over the music, “Oh my god! Arty!” 

It was Dick, and he seemed to be drunk. “Wally! Get over here! It’s Artemis!” 

Dick embraced Artemis in a hug and she stiffened. “You’re so cool!”

So apparently Dick was a happy drunk, not that it mattered to Artemis, she was just intrigued on how differently people reacted to alcohol. Something she probably was fascinated by because she had grown up watching her parents react so differently. Her dad got violent (more violent than usual), but her mother became nostalgic and often times cried. 

Wally appeared from behind a mob of people and though he was carrying a beer, was definitely not drunk like Dick was. 

“Hey,” he said. 

“What?” she shouted over the throng of people. 

“Hey!” he shouted back, feeling rather awkward. 

Artemis shuffled her feet, not knowing what to say. 

“Can I talk to you?” Wally asked. 

The blonde was unsure how to respond so she nodded her head. 

“So, I, um,” he said, not knowing what to say because he wanted to ask Artemis about the other night but not knowing how to go about it. 

“What?” she yelled, unable to hear him. 

Wally grabbed her wrist, despite knowing she could full well deck his ass into next Tuesday. 

“What the hell?” she yelled at him, twisting out of his grip. 

“Follow me!” he shouted back. 

He didn’t know where he was going, but he took them upstairs and pushed into what he assumed was a bedroom. He shut the door and looked for a lightswitch, and when he found one it took all he had in him not to scream. They were in a small room, closet, whatever, but it wasn’t that. One wall was lined with shelves, with was stacked up with jars. Jars of teeth. The other was covered in odd looking rusted tools. 

“What the hell?” Artemis breathed, pressed against the non-murdery wall. Wally could feel her breath, because while the closet was spacious for a closet, it was still a closet. 

“Oh my god.” Wally was officially freaking out. Sure, he was Kid Flash and he was supposed to be tough, but holy fuck this was a whole new level of horrifying because these aren’t super villains who are the possible murders, it’s  _ college girls.  _

“What are you doing?” Artemis asked, sounding extremely annoyed at Wally and not at all unnerved by the teeth. 

“What?”

“God,” she pressed past him and shoved him into the wall. Artemis tried opening the door, twisting the knob several times, but it was stuck. The damn door was stuck. If she was alone she would’ve just broken the door, but Wally was here, and because of so she didn’t have nearly enough room. 

“I can’t believe you!” she yelled, “Are you stupid?” 

“What?” 

“We’re stuck!” how stupid was he? “I seriously think you’re brain dead or something.”

Wally waited a few seconds, “You have your phone?”

“No,” she dropped her body against the door, looking at the floor and noting that there was only about a foot and a half between her and Wally.

“Me either,” Wally scratched the back of his head, “If we make enough noise someone is bound to hear us.”

“No one’s going to hear us over the music.”

Artemis looked at the wall behind Wally, and noted the tools. She could probably use those to get the handle off… 

“Hand me the screwdriver. 

Wally wordlessly handed the her screwdriver. She fiddled with the door handle for about a minute before the door handle fell off and clattered to the floor. She kicked the door, but it didn’t budge. 

“Goddamnit!” she cursed, kicking the door once more. Wally thought her kicks were being rendered ineffective simply because she was wearing heels. Wally didn’t mind the heels though (they made her legs look magnificent). 

“Can I ask you a question?”

Artemis still didn’t respond. But she did start yelling for help, and Wally joined in too. No response. Artemis looked at her watch. They had only been trapped about fifteen minutes. They still had time for rescue. 

 

Wally had begun to fidget, he kept standing up and down and was pacing as much as he could in the small space. Wally swore he could smell a strange aroma coming from the teeth and he was pretty sure he was going to have to call the cops. If he had his phone. 

It had been two hours, they were stuck for two hours. Wally had finally sighed in defeat and sat next to Artemis, who had been sitting on the floor and hitting the door with the screwdriver. 

“Sorry,” he apologized. 

“How can you be so stupid?”

“Excuse me?” 

“You managed to get us stuck in a closet of what is probably a murder house because I know we haven’t verbally addressed it but by god that is alot of tet. The door is stuck, and it’s your fault we’re even in the situation because you wanted to ‘talk’ even though we barely know each other, and then you didn’t even bother checking to make sure we were walking into a room. Nope, and then you didn’t turn on the light until we were  _ already inside _ , and then don’t even get me started on how stupi-.” 

Artemis stopped abruptly, hearing noises coming from outside the door. She burst up, banging on the door. 

“Someone! Help us!” she shouted. 

Someone stuck their finger in the area where the door handle used to be and pulled. The door swung open with such ease Artemis had to bite her tongue to stop herself from letting loose a horrible string of curses. 

It was one of the Kappa Kappa Theta girls, and Wally was actually the first one to speak. 

“Why the hell do you have a closet full of teeth?” he quickly walked out of the closet and confronted the girl. 

“Amber makes jewelry and sells it,” she shrugged. 

“Then why are the jars labelled?” this time it was Artemis. 

“They’re her client’s names.” 

“Oh yeah?” Artemis replied, “Can I see some of this teeth jewelry?” 

The girl disappeared before coming back with a jewelry box full of earrings, cufflinks, and necklaces made of teeth. 

“Oh,” Wally said, deflated. 

Artemis rolled her eyes and went downstairs to look for Zatanna, who had a field day when she heard the story. 


	3. New Schedules, Mixed Feelings, and a Visit to the Cave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wally West is not so bad, Artemis's heritage is covered, and M'gann gives bone crushing hugs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha here's another poorly written chapter of your favorite less than mediocre spitfire fic. Also: Sorry about the suckyness of last chapter and I apologize in advance about the suckyness of this one

It was winter break, and Artemis had three glorious weeks without having to think about school. Instead she spent her time hanging out with her mom; even though Artemis visited almost everyday (pros of going to college in your hometown) she didn’t like the thought of her mother spending so much time alone. Especially not with her dad running loose. Much to her surprise Jade did end up sending a postcard wishing them a merry christmas and sent along a few gifts (new boots, hair clips, and a switch blade for Artemis; a laptop and a sweater for their mom). According to her mom she had been sending postcards all year and apparently had been asking about how Artemis was doing in college, something that surprised Artemis also. 

But now it was over and Artemis had to return to school, leaving her mother all alone; and as stated before it was not something Artemis was entirely comfortable with so. A

“Don’t worry about me,” her mother had told her, waving her off, “I’ll be fine.”

“I know you can take care of yourself, but I’m worried about Dad coming back,” Artemis had replied.  

Her mom then stayed silent, and had pursed her lips. While her mom did not believe in sugarcoating things, the topic of her dad was always an agreed taboo. It brought along too many harsh memories. Tears silently streaked down her mother’s cheeks. 

“Mom,” Artemis said, dropping to hug her, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean.” 

“It’s fine,” her mother sniffled, wiping away the tears, “I will be fine, go have fun at school.”

 

Artemis bid her goodbyes, and returned to her apartment, ready to take on the new semester. But as her alarm clock beeped a cacophonous beep Artemis felt like bashing her head into a wall. She did  _ not _ want to start her classes. Especially since she thought it would be a good idea to double major in two entirely different subjects, Artemis had an entirely new class set each semester. 

Instead of brushing her hair or actually taking the time to eat breakfast, Artemis found it more fitting to take an extra twenty minutes in bed and wound up throwing her hair into a messy bun (she should seriously consider getting a haircut) and grabbed a couple packages of Pop-tarts. Artemis envied Zatanna, she didn’t have to go to class until ten o’clock. 

Despite not brushing her hair and eating Pop-tarts as Artemis practically sprinted to class,  she still was late. Class had technically started five minutes ago, but the professor wasn’t there and Artemis thanked her lucky stars as she plopped her stuff down in the only open seat. Well, she was thankful until she saw who she was sitting next to, and then she started cursing her “lucky” stars. So, apparently the universe had some sort of sworn agenda against her where it’s primary goal is to cause Artemis eternal pain. 

For those of you who couldn’t tell by now, she was sitting next to Wally fucking West. She can barely deal with Zatanna at this ungodly hour of the morning, she doubts she can deal with Wally. From the second she met him they had this unspoken agreement on how they would  _ never  _ get along. Which Artemis is fine with, from what she can gleen Wally seems like a dick. 

_ “He seems like a huge dick but he’s basically a garbage disposal mashed with a teddy bear, you just gotta get to know him.”  _ Babs had said that first day she had met him. Artemis usually took things Barbara says to heart, but Artemis just couldn’t see how she could be right about this. 

“Hey,” Wally said as he turned to face her, but he narrowed his eyes in recognition when he finally came to face her. 

“Artemis,” he said as if she were his arch nemesis, and she doubted she was. A guy as annoying as Wally has got to have worse enemies than her. 

“Wow, Wallman,” Artemis said sarcastically, “It’s certainly nice to know that you have simply facial recall capabilities.” 

“Shut it you-...” he trailed off, “Jerk-face.” 

“Ooh, nice comeback,” she teased, “Where’d you get it? Walmart?” 

“Yeah, in aisle n-” he would’ve finished his expert comeback with “next to your mom” had Artemis not shushed him as their professor walked into the room.

\---

“All five?” Zatanna laughed as she tied on her apron.

“Yes,” Artemis groaned, banging her head into a coffeemaker, her awful visor stopping her head from completely hitting the cool metal. 

“Oh my god this is the greatest thing ever,” Zatanna started wiping tears of laughter out of her eyes, “I can’t believe this.” 

“Can’t believe what?” Babs asked she hopped over the counter. 

“Literally the worst thing ever has happened to me.” Artemis hit her head on the coffeemaker again. 

“She has all five of classes with Wally,” Zatanna said gleefully before turning to the register and talking to the customer. 

Babs sighed, fixing the drink order Zatanna had given her. “Is he really that bad?”

“That’s the worst part!” Artemis says, “I barely even know him and I already am pretty sure I hate him.”

“Look, Artemis,” Barbara said, “Wally’s a nice guy, he can just be a little much. Personally I think it’s because he’s a spe-.” 

“A what?” 

“Because he’s a special kid,” Babs says quickly, internally kicking herself for being so careless. 

“Speak of the devil,” Artemis murmured as Wally walked through the door, “And he shall appear.” 

Artemis’s eyes followed Wally from the short trek from the door to cash register, he was s surprisingly slow walker. 

“Artemisyou’remanningthecashregister,” Zatanna said quickly, pushing Artemis to the spot in front of the register. 

“Hey, Arty,” Wally said. 

“What do you want?” she asked, and she sounded more annoyed than she intending. 

“Is that how you’re supposed to treat a customer?” Wally asks. 

“Actually, yes,” Artemis responded, “I am, in fact, supposed to ask my customers what they want to order. Believe it or not this is a coffee shop.” 

Wally grumbled something inaudible to Artemis, but sighed. “A medium black coffee, decaf.” 

Huh, so Wally drank his coffee black, kind of sexy. 

No _!  _ Not  _ sexy!  _ Artemis yelled at herself internally (also partly for being  _ slightly  _ attracted to the way a guy drinks coffee),  _ This is Wally, so  _ not  _ sexy!  _

“Name,” Artemis said curtly. 

“Come on, beautiful. I think you know my name.” 

“Do I?” 

“Just write my name,” Wally said, sounding kind of exasperating. 

Artemis scrawled “West” onto a cup, marking the decaf square before handing it to Babs. It was kind of late, just past six o'clock, but the coffee house was still reasonably full. It was mostly college students typing away on their laptops with earbuds in. But then there was Wally, he looked like a college student, but he didn’t. Unlike the other students, Wally was writing something longhand and he didn’t even have a computer. 

Barbara was about to call out Wally’s drink when Artemis grabbed it out of her hands and hopped over the counter. 

“So, Wallman,” Artemis sat at the seat across from him, feeling an odd sense of deja vu (but like, she knew why because like a month ago she sat across from Wally in this very fashion.)

“What?” he asked, and she pushed the coffee towards him.

“Whatcha working on?” she asked, leaning over to see the page. 

“Nothing,” he replied, not looking up at her. 

“Is that math?” Artemis asked, looking over the weird symbols scribbled on the page, although she was looking at it upside down. 

“Yes,” he replied, still not looking at her. 

“But why are you doing math?” 

“For fun?” he said it like a question, finally looking up at her. Artemis took his notebook from him, looking at the complex equations. 

“This isn’t even math.” Artemis, for one, hated math and science. 

“Well, Mrs. Smarty Pants, it is in fact math,” Wally retorted, looking Artemis dead in the eyes. She noticed little gold flecks mixed in with the green. 

Artemis crinkled her nose and shook her head. “So, are you like a genius or something?”

“Um, obviously?” Wally answered, “I’ve been a genius since childhood. Hell, at eleven I managed to-.”

“Managed to?”   
“What?” Wally asked, playing dumb. 

“Don’t act like you’re stupid, because you just were bragging about how you aren’t, and we both know I’m not deaf.”

“I didn’t say anything,” Wally said defensively, throwing his hands up. 

“Agh!” Artemis groaned. 

A silence fell over the pair, and Artemis wasn’t sure if she should leave or start talking. Instead she tapped her fingers on the table, flicking crumbs at the windows. 

“I like your visor,” he said sarcastically. He flicked the brim of the red visor, and Artemis pulled it off her head, not quite sure what to say. 

“Haha,” she replied. 

“No, I’m not making fun of  it,” Wally laughed, “Oh wait, yes I am.” 

“You wouldn’t be making fun of me if you knew of the amazing health insurance,” Artemis rose an eyebrow, “And not to mention all the free java.” 

“Maybe that’s a perk for you,” Wally fired back, “But I don’t like coffee.” 

Artemis sputtered indignantly as if she was personally offended. “How?” 

“It tastes disgusting.” 

“Yeah, but caffeine.” 

“Ha! I can’t have caffeine without not sleeping for at least two days,” Wally replied, “Try again.” 

“As I mentioned before, amazing health insurance.” 

“I don’t get sick/hurt ever,” Wally replied. 

“Bullshit!” Artemis half snorted/laughed, “Everyone gets sick.” 

“I haven’t gotten sick since I was eleven.” 

“Ha, totally,” Artemis agreed, her voice dripping in sarcasm. 

Wally looked at her with a look she couldn’t decipher (surprising considering how much time her dad spent teaching her to read people). 

“Hey,” he said. 

“Hi,” Artemis replied, annoyed. 

“Did you get the syllabus from Professor Chan’s class?” he asked. 

“Did you already lose yours?” 

Wally blushed, his ear turning pink. “Maybe.” 

“I’ll have Barbara bring you a copy next time she goes to see Dick,” Artemis stood, “But I have to go.”

“Oh, come on Arty,” Wally says, “You’re on break.” 

“No. My shifts over,” the blonde replied. 

“Oh.” 

“See you tomorrow Wally,” Artemis waved. 

\---

So, as it turns out, Wally West wasn’t so bad. Not that Artemis would ever admit it out loud. Having all of her classes with Wally wasn’t so bad either. She only sat next to him in one of them, and often times they would hang out in the hour they had between classes. He was kind of funny, charming, and one time he made Artemis laugh so hard milk came out of her nose (she knew she probably looked like a total idiot, but she didn’t really care). But that didn’t mean he still didn’t annoy the crap out of her. He still did, and Artemis was pretty sure that he was one of the most idiotic self proclaimed genius alive. 

“So,” Zatanna said as Artemis took her shoes off, “When’s the wedding?” 

Artemis sent Zatanna a look and snorted. “Hardy har har.” 

“No seriously, you two have got it bad,” Zatanna replied, leaning back on the couch. 

The blonde chucked a shoe at Zatanna. “We’re barely friends, he probably doesn’t care.” 

“Not according to Dick,” Zatanna said, “Apparently Wally hasn’t shut up about you ‘Artemis is so annoying!!!!!’” 

Artemis gave Zatanna a sideways look, “If he’s been complaining, then why would you ask about a wedding?”

“Because everyone knows that people who quote un quote hate each other always end up fucking.” 

“Not me and Wally,” Artemis shrugged. 

\---

Wally wasn’t sure why he ended up zeta-ing to the Cave. It had been years since he even stepped foot into the mountain, and he felt a little weird. Last time he had been in the Cave the team consisted of Robin (now Nightwing), Aqualad, Miss Martian, Superboy, Rocket, Zatanna, and himself. Then he graduated high school, retired and hasn’t been since. Last he heard from Dick there were a more than a few new additions. 

“Recognized, Kid-Flash B-0

“Hello?” he yelled, walking through the main room, “Anyone home?” 

He heard the sound of foots running down the hall, and Batgirl skid into the room (she obviously wasn’t trying to be very stealthy), closely followed by a kid who Wally could only assumed was Beast Boy, and M’gann (she was flying though, of course).

“Wally!” M’gann exclaimed, tackling Wally in a bone-crushing hug, “What are you doing here?” 

“Can’t-breathe,” Wally gasped. 

“Oh! Sorry,” M'gann apologized, releasing Wally. 

“Thanks, green cheeks,” Wally says.

Batgirl clears her throat, looking mildly uncomfortable/nervous. “Who are you?” she asked, her voice gruff. 

“Wally West,” he sticks out a hand for her to shake, “Ex-Kid Flash.”

Batgirl went to shake his hand, but was pushed out of the way by Beast Boy. 

“Beast Boy!” she shouted indignantly, but Beast Boy didn’t respond. 

“You’re Kid Flash?” he asked, obviously very excited, “ _ The Kid Flash _ ?” 

“The one and only,” Wally grinned. 

“You’re. So. Cool,” Beast Boy said, “I’ve been collecting souvenirs, do you wanna see?”

Beast Boy grabbed Wally’s hand and began to drag him in the direction of the trophy room before M’gann intervened. 

“Wally probably came to do something important,” M’gann said, “He probably doesn’t want to see all your souvenirs.”

“Actually,” Wally said, “I didn’t really come here to do anything in particular, so seeing souvenirs sounds great.” 

“Yes!” Beast Boy does a fist pump, “Come on follow me, it’s this way.” 

“I think I know where the trophy room is,” Wally laughed, following close behind. 

 

Wally sighed, flopping on the couch in the living room. M’gann had just forced Beast Boy (who was actually Garth, to Wally’s surprise) to go to bed, seeing as it was about 1:30 in the morning. 

“Hey,” M’gann said, sitting next to Wally, “It was nice, you visiting and all, but it’s been _ years _ . Why are you here?” 

“I don’t know,” Wally sighed, “Remember Sportsmaster?” 

“Yeah,” the martian replied, “He hasn’t been active much since Vandal Savage failed to maintain control over the Justice League.” 

“I think he might’ve had a kid,” Wally said. 

“What?” Miss Martian asked. 

“Yeah, a daughter,” Wally answered, “I have classes with her.”

“Wow,” M’gann sighed, “Does she seem… normal?” 

“If you’re asking if she’s a criminal the answer is no,” Wally told her, “At least, I think so.” 

“Is that why you came here?” 

“What?” 

“Because you know our computers have access to this sort of thing.” 

“I know,” Wally answered, “I’m just…” 

“Scared? Worried? Nervous? Indifferent?” M’gann rattled off, trying to help Wally with his words. 

“One of those.” 

“Well,” M’gann, “I think you should look her up.” 

She gave Wally’s leg a quick squeeze before exiting the living room. Maybe M’gann was right, he probably should look her up if not to appease himself before blurting it out. Wally cringed just thinking about; knowing him he’d say something incredibly idiotic and blow his secret identity in the process (well, old secret identity). Especially since she can kick total ass. 

It was decided then, Wally was going to look this up before it ate him alive. He made his way to the main room with the computer (he walked, he wasn’t exactly eager to find this out). 

“Uh,” Wally said, “Computer?” 

Despite being a literal genius, Wally hated the Cave’s computer. He has only used it a few times, and he still wasn’t quite sure what activated it. But obviously saying “Computer” turned it on, because a moment after Wally said it the blue keyboard and screen appeared. 

Wally hit a few key, accessing the Justice League’s database. He quickly made a search for Artemis Crock. Several articles popped up, Scholastic Award given to first Gotham North student in thirty years, Gotham North Soccer team wins the State Cup first time in seventy three years after being led by prodigy team captain, Eighteen year old girl saves bank from hostage situation by taking out would-be robbers by herself. This girl was practically a superhero. Hell, all she needed was a costume and Artemis could kick some major villain ass. 

Delving further into the information pulled up on Artemis Lian Crock (her middle name he just learned.) Her entire family was dirty, all of them criminals at one time or another .Mother: Paula Crock, ex-criminal known as Huntress. Father: Lawrence Crock, criminal known as Sportsmaster. Sister: Jade Nguyen, criminal known as Cheshire. Artemis: clean as a damn whistle. She hadn’t even ever gotten a speeding ticket. She has a perfect driving record, a credit score to die for (well, for a college student), epitome of the perfect human. 

Well, that was comforting. At least he didn’t have to worry about her murdering him when they were together. Actually, that was still a possibility, but mostly because they fought like cats and dogs. 

But at least she wasn’t a super villain. 

  
That… that was a plus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I'm really excited to write the next chapter, fingers crossed it'll actually be good. 
> 
> ALSO: that lil soccer thing was inspired by one of my favorite fics [ A Theory of Impossibility](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8740801) It's so good I love it.


	4. Not Flirting-Flirting, Schemes, and more not so retired superheroes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the title perfectly describes the summary of the chapter so I don't have to write one.

Wally!” Artemis shouted, trying to grab her phone from the redhead’s hand, “Give it back!” 

“What? Too slow?” he taunted from his position behind the couch. 

“More like trying not to kill you!” 

Artemis dove over the couch, just barely missing Wally who had sidestepped last minute. She instinctively tucked and rolled, landing in a crouched position. Artemis bounced up quickly, glaring at Wally.

“Goddamnit!” she cursed, “Wally just be a civilized person for once in your life and give me my phone back!” 

“No can do,” he replied, taking a step towards her (Artemis felt really tempted to punch him, she didn’t). 

Babs sighed from the doorway, alerting the pair to her presence. Wally quickly tossed Artemis her phone back, and leaned against the arm of the couch. 

“Hey, Babs,” he said awkwardly.

“You know, you two are  _ so _ lucky that I got here before Zatanna did,” Babs informed.Artemis shuddered at the thought. If Zatanna had walked in, well let’s just say that Artemis would have to hear Zatanna planning the blonde’s wedding for  _ weeks _ . 

Artemis straightened, “You’re right.”

“Of course I’m right,” Babs nodded, “Now stop that weird little flirting game you guys were doing, and next time try not to let Wally in before opening.” 

“We weren’t flirting!” Wally and Artemis protested in unison. 

“Whatever,” Barbara waved a hand, “I don’t really care, just fix the couch.” 

Artemis grumbled something inaudible under her breath and bumped the couch with her hip. 

“Thank you,” Babs left and went into the back room. 

“We weren’t flirting,” Wally said to Artemis once Babs had disappeared. 

“Of course,” Artemis agreed, “We’re barely even friends.”   
“Exactly,” Wally looked down at his feet and shuffled them awkwardly, and Artemis was staring at something passed his shoulder. 

“So.”

“Yeah,” Wally scratched his head, “So.”

“I-” Artemis and Wally started at the same time. Artemis motioned for Wally to go first.

“I should probably get going,” he said, grabbing his laptop bag, “I’m, uh, late for class.”

Wally quickly left the shop, and Artemis couldn’t help but facepalm at his stupid excuse. They have all their classes together, and Artemis knew he didn’t have a class until eight thirty, it was currently six thirty. 

A customer entered the shop, and Artemis sighed, manning the post. 

“A medium caramel latte, please.” 

\---

Since Wally thought it would be a good idea to knock his literature requirments out in one year, he took a creative writing course. It had been one of his better ideas of the semester, or so he thought at the time. But, apparently there was a partner project. You had to write a ten thousand word story with a partner, assigned partners. Who was his partner? Artemis, obviously. Wally swears he’s in a soap opera at this point. 

So, because of the stupid ten thousand word writing project, Wally had begun spending  _ even more _ time with Artemis. He hated it. But at this point he wasn’t even sure if it was Artemis that he hated. 

“No one in their right mind would kiss someone so soon after meeting them,” Artemis said, “They’re not even dating.” 

“That was the point of the argument,” Wally explained, “They had the grueling, soul bearing argument before hand, it was a lead up to the kiss.” 

“Yeah, and during this  quote un quote grueling, soul bearing argument Jacob insulted Nancy numerous times, saying everything was her fault, she was insecure and selfish, and an ‘intolerable bitch’.” 

“Yeah but-,” 

“And,” Artemis cut him off, “Nothing was even her fault. If I were Nancy I would kick Jacob in the balls.” 

“We’re writing fiction.” 

“Yeah,  _ realistic  _ fiction,” Artemis argued, “Why are we writing a love story anyway?” 

“Because they’re easy to write,” Wally answered, “and everyone loves them.”

“Not everyone,” Artemis grumbled, grabbing the laptop from Wally to review what he’s written. 

“You’re trying to tell me you don’t like love stories?” Wally asked, fixing Artemis with a stare. 

“Well,” Artemis shrugged, “I dunno, I just don’t see the appeal in reading the same story about two people who end up sucking face at the end.” 

“What?” Wally exclaimed, “It’s not about when they get together, it’s all about  _ how _ . It’s the journey.” 

“But it’s just so obvious what’s going to happen!” Artemis replied, “I like a little bit of mystery.” 

“Well, maybe it’s not obvious to the characters in the book,” Wally countered. 

“Well, maybe,” Artemis said in the same tone as him, “I don’t care what the characters think.” 

“I just don’t get it!” Wally threw his hands up in the air. 

Artemis ignored him; instead she opted to delete the last few lines Wally wrote, and replace them with her own. “There, all fixed.” 

“Let me see,” Wally pulled the computer back towards him and started reading what she had written aloud.

“Ahem,  _ Jacob and Nancy stared each other square in the eyes,  chests heaving from the loud shouting that had taken place mere minutes earlier. Nancy felt numb as she stood there with her fists balled up, clutching her arms. ‘Nancy, look at me,’  Jacob said. He gently put his hand on the side of her face to make her look at him, she looked away. ‘Why should I?’ Nancy asked. She stepped back from Jacob, not wanting to be anywhere near him. ‘Because,’ Jacob moved closer, ‘I care about you.’. Nancy fought the urge to scream. ‘Bullshit,’ she spat and slapped him, ‘Bullshit, if- _ ,” Wally stopped, making a weird face, “Seriously?” 

Artemis smiled, “Dead serious.” 

“But we needed an ending like two thousand words ago.” 

“But them kissing at the most inappropriate time and then ending it is not a proper finish to a story,” Artemis said. 

“But we’ve already written like twelve thousand words,” Wally complained, “I don’t even  _ like  _ writing.” 

“Should’ve stuck to a comparative literature class,” Artemis replied.

“No thank you,” Wally laughed, “However much this sucks I think I would rather stab my eyes out before take another comparative lit class.” 

“Stop being so dramatic,” Artemis slapped him across the head lightly in a playful fashion. 

“I’m not dramatic!” Wally protested, “I’m… theatrical.” 

“Whatever, it’s still annoying,” Artemis replied as she typed down a few things, “Although it’s not like it’s anything new.”

“Yeah,” he said, “Well, your… face is annoying!”   
“God!” Artemis huffed, “Imbecile.”

“I am  _ not  _ an imbecile!” Wally said, “I’m the opposite, I’m a becile.” 

Artemis had this kind of puzzled expression on her face, “So, I’m just going to pretend you didn’t make up a word and keep going with my life.” 

“I can’t believe I just did that,” Wally groaned, placing his head in his hands. 

“What?” 

“It’s this thing Dick does,” Wally explained, his head still in his hands, “He likes to mutilate the english language for his own personal enjoyment.” 

“Noted.” 

\---

Barbara and Zatanna groaned in unison as they watched Artemis talk with Wally and Dick. They were talking about walruses for some reason (the only reason Babs knew was because she was reading their lips). 

“This has been going on so long it’s starting to get  _ boring _ ,” Zatanna complained as she topped a frappuccino with whipped cream. 

“I know,” Babs agreed, “This has been going on for what, three months now?” 

“I don’t know,” Zatanna replied, “But it’s been too long.” 

“According to Dick, Wally won’t shut up about Artemis. It got worse ever since she kicked ass.” 

Zatanna froze, “What?” 

“She didn’t tell you?” Barbara asked,

“Artemis isn’t the sharing type.”

“She was walking home from work one time and she was being followed. Wally and Dick were out on patrol and Wally went to help. Wally was hit in the back of the head with a pipe and got a concussion, so Artemis stepped up and kicked some ass.”

“Well, well, Arty,” Zatanna said, impressed, “Who knew that Sportsmaster trained his kids so well.” 

“Who knew Sportsmaster had kids is more like it,” Barbara snorted. Zatanna and Babs continued to watch as Artemis said something not even remotely funny and Wally snorted so hard snot came out of his nose. 

“Okay, seriously!” Zatanna practically shouted, “We _really_ need to do something about this.”  
“What do you suggest we do, Zee?” Babs asked, “Lock them in a room and force them to talk about their feelings? Because newsflash: Wally was a _freaking superhero_ and Artemis is a _super villain's daughter_.” Barbara hushed her voice when disclosing the information about Wally and Artemis, “I think they can break down a door.” 

“Maybe,” Zatanna said, a sly look on her face, “I’ll be right back.” 

Zatanna left and whispered something into Dick’s ear, and Dick nodded his head in affirmation. 

“We’re meeting in the backroom in five,” Zatanna informed as she walked past Barbara again. 

Barbara sighed as she continued to take orders and the drone of the work made the five minutes feel like hours. Babs had to ask Artemis to take a break from flirting to help man the counter even though it wasn’t her shift (it had taken a solid three minutes of pure begging). 

By the time Barbara got to the backroom Dick and Zatanna were already immersed in conversation. 

“Good, we’re all here,” Zatanna said, “We all know why we’re here.” 

“Wally and Artemis,” Babs replied. 

“I still don’t know what you guys plan on doing,” Dick shook his head, “You can’t force them to do anything; they’re the most stubborn people I’ve met since Batman, hell maybe even more stubborn than Batman.” 

“Details,” Zatanna waved a hand, “We just need them to have an  _ honest  _ talk with one another.” 

“And how do you propose we do so?” Barbara and Dick asked at the same time. 

Zatanna started to say several things before sitting down. “How do you get two people who spend several hours with each other daily to have a talk they’re avoiding?” she sighed. 

“You don’t,” Babs answered sitting next to her, “You’d have to be magic.” 

“Eureka!” Zatanna exclaimed, “I have  _ the perfect _ idea!” 

“No!” Babs and Dick shouted in unison, “No magic!”   
“Just a small spell,” Zatanna made a small gap between her fingers, “Just an eensy one.” 

“Does it involve mind control?” Dick sighed. 

“It’s going to involve magical and more potent equivalent of a truth serum,” Zatanna said. 

“Babs?” Dick asked, looking towards the redhead. 

“Grey area, we’re fine,” Barbara answered.

“Yay!” Zatanna clapped her hands, “Dick, you need to throw a party next Friday.” 

“And this is for the plan?” Dick clarified, he wasn’t going to go into details but the last time Zatanna asked him to throw a party it ended up with approximately 2.5 dead bodies.

“Yes, the plan, or as I have just dubbed it, ‘operation get Wally and Artemis to stop fucking before one of us chokes on the sexual tension.’” 

\---

 

Wally wasn’t sure why he called himself a retired superhero. In the past three months he had been going on patrol and went on a small mission that included a drug trade. He was more like a part time superhero. Wally’s saying this because he was in a mission briefing for what Mal called “a simple recon mission”, he obviously hasn’t been with the Team for long. As mentioned earlier, it was supposed to be a simple recon mission so they only sent in Nightwing, Kid Flash, and M’gann. 

If it were to go according to plan, they were supposed to investigate the new metahuman research facility a LexCorp shell corporation had set up. Batman suspected they were continuing the diabolical works of Cadmus. 

The mission sounded easy enough. (Robin, Aqualad, and himself  _ had _ managed to sneak into Cadmus as teenagers)

So obviously, the mission was destined to go to shit. 

It had all started the second they touched down on the huge slab of ice. M’gann had landed the bioship behind a snow drift, in camo mode of course. Less than a whole thirty seconds after they had touched down they were bombarded with attacks from the outside attempting to penetrate the ship. 

Then of course the ice under the ship found it was the perfect time to respond to weight of the ship and started cracking. So less than a minute and a half into the mission and they we’re already sinking into the icy ocean, what a great way to get his feet wet (in case you couldn’t tell that was sarcastic,  _ very  _ sarcastic). 

“Miss M, open a hatch!” Nightwing ordered, snapping M’gann out of the little shock she goes into when the bioship was harmed. 

“Right,” she responded slowly, and waved her hand. A hatch just above Kid Flash’s opened up. Wally quickly climbed out and lept off the bioship, rolling behind a snow drift and narrowly missing being shot. Nightwing and Miss Martian quickly followed. 

Wally peaked out from behind the snowdrift and counted eight soldiers, all armed with some sort of laser gun. 

“There’s eight guys,” he informed Nightwing and Miss Martian. 

“Can you take them?” Nightwing asked. 

“Dude, I was retired not dead,” Wally replied, pulling his goggles over his face. He ran out from behind the snowdrift and grabbed the thugs weapons before tossing them into the frigid waters. He dodged a punch, ramming the guy with his shoulder instead and sent him flying. One of the soldiers attempted to choke Wally from behind, but Wally quickly flipped him over. 

“Some backup would be nice!” he shouted to Nightwing and M’gann. 

Nightwing and M’gann appeared from behind the snowdrift. Nightwing quickly knocked a guy out with an escrima stick, “I thought you were retired, not dead?” he asked. 

“Shut up,” Wally replied, side-stepping around a thug kicking his legs out from underneath him.  

M’gann had knocked out the remaining four guys with a mental blast. 

“Thanks, Megalicious,” Wally said, “But we could’ve taken them.”  
“You guys were causing too much of a ruckus,” she replied.

“I think they already know we were here,” Wally replied. 

“M’gann is right,” Nightwing said, “Even if they do know we’re here we don’t want them knowing our location.” 

“Whatever.”

Nightwing looked at the building in the distance. It wasn’t far, just a hundred yards or so, but the ice and snow made it look miles away. 

“Miss Martian, link us up,” he ordered. 

_ “Link established.” _

_ “Woah, this is so weird it’s been so long since I’ve done this.”  _

_ “Focus, Wally,”  _ Miss Martian said (through the mental link obviously). 

_ “KF, you and Miss M will enter through the air shaft on the roof on the northeast wing,”  _ Nightwing ordered,  _ “I’ll be entering on the opposite side, if you are discovered meet at the rendezvous point.”  _

That part of the mission had gone to plan. Everyone got inside the laboratory, and they managed to meet up and investigate several wings. The bad part? There was literally nothing in the entire building. It had been completely gutted. There wasn’t a single soul inside the entire building, except for himself, Miss Martian, and Nightwing obviously. 

“Dude, I don’t think anyone’s here,” Wally said as he skid into the main room. 

“Batman said to case every inch of it,” Nightwing replied. 

“And we did,” Wally said, “Miss M and I looked through every inch of this place.  _ Nada _ .” 

“Where is Miss M?” Nightwing asked, “I thought she was right behind you.”

“She was,” Wally crinkled his nose and looking behind him. 

“The mental link is down.”

“I’m going back in to look for her,” Wally pulled down his goggles. 

“I think I found her,” a voice said from behind them, a voice said from behind them. Wally and Nightwing both turned around and Wally made a small choking noise when he saw it was Sportsmaster and Cheshire. Sportsmaster was gripping Miss Martian, who had an inhibitor collar on, tightly. 

“Caught this one poking around the basement,” he laughed, “Thought I would teach her a lesson.”  
Wally lurched forward to make a move, but he froze. Despite being just regular humans, Sportsmaster and Cheshire were definitely viable opponents. 

“Let her go,” Nightwing said, trying (and sorta failing) at his best Batman voice. 

“I was thinking of killing her,” Cheshire replied, and something about her tone was just unnerving. She always talked like her crimes and actions were all just apart of some fun game. 

The villainess held a knife up to the martian’s neck. “What do you think, Greeny?” 

Sportsmaster didn’t give Miss M time to respond, instead he hit a button and a shock went through Miss Martian’s body. When she collapsed he threw her limp form on the ground. 

“Let this be a lesson,” he spat, “You shouldn't go poking around in other people’s business.” 

“It feels like we’ve taught them this lesson numerous times,” Cheshire mused. 

“Maybe,” Sportsmaster responded, “But they have been useful before.” 

Cheshire threw down knock-out gas emitters, and Wally’s vision became tinged with black. 

“No,” he said weakly, but he could feel his body already metabolising it. He grabbed M’gann and Nightwing before (attempting) to run around Cheshire and Sportsmaster and get into the bioship. 

But he didn’t make it far, just barely around the pair before he collapsed to his knees and began coughing. The black spots around his vision became worse, his body was metabolising it, but not fast enough to mean anything. 

“Well, little hero, you tried,” Cheshire laughed, “What do you think we should do with them?” 

“I do think our employers will be pleased,” Sportsmaster grinned (well, it sounded like he said it with a grin, Wally couldn’t tell through the mask). 

“Artemis,” he managed to say, and he look up at Sportsmaster (again he wished he could see through the mask if not just to see his face). 

“What did you just say?” 

“Artemis,” Wally repeated, “Your daughter, Artemis Crock.”

“I don’t have a daughter.” 

“Yes you do,” Wally laughed, before adding, “She’s quite the sweetheart.” (Wally himself wondered why he said it but there was no going back)

Wally  _ could _ see Sportsmasters eyes widen, and then he was kicked in the stomach from the villain's powerful boot and regretted it. The boot landed again. 

“You little, punk,” he spat at Wally and lifted him up to punch before Cheshire intervened.

“Sportsmaster!” Cheshire shouted at him, “We have protocol!” 

Huh, unlikely hero. 

“I ought to kill you,” his fist stayed poised above Wally’s face. 

Wally heard M’gann groan next to him, and Nightwing seemed to be gaining consciousness. Cheshire pulled Sportsmaster off of Wally (Wally had promptly fallen, but only because his legs were practically mush). 

“We need to go,  _ now _ ,” she ordered, “Before the martian and the sidekick wake up.”

Sportsmaster threw one last glance at Wally’s limp form, “Fine.” 

Cheshire threw down a smoke bomb of sorts. Wally watched as the pair disappeared to god knows where and groaned heavily. 

 


	5. Super villain family members, Artemis is fine, and Wally ignores a lot of stuff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> See title bc I hate summaries

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha get ready for another poorly written chapter of spitfire fic

For once in her life, Artemis was in a good place. She wasn’t being put through torturous training, emotionally abused, or physically abused. She was just a regular college student with regular college friends. She was even going to a party, which seemed like a healthy regular college kid activity. Zatanna didn’t even have to drag her along to this party.

“Come on, Artemis!” Zatanna shouted from the living room, “We’re going to be late!” 

Artemis looked at her reflection in the mirror one last time before giving herself an affirming nod and meeting Zatanna in the living room. 

“Hot damn, girl,” Zatanna whistled when she saw Artemis, “You ready?” 

“Yep,” Artemis started walking towards the door when she stopped, “Shoot, I forgot my purse, I’ll be right back.”

“I’ll meet you in the car,” Zatanna replied. 

“Kay.”

Artemis hurried down the hall towards her room. When she entered she made a beeline towards the back of her closet door and began sifting under the numerous scarves and bags hung on the hooks in search of the smallest purse she owned. 

A floorboard creaked behind her; and Artemis quickly spun around, a crossbow loaded and raised at the intruder. Or, intruders as it were. 

“That’s no way to greet your father, baby girl,” Sportsmaster said from where he sit on her bed, beside him stood Cheshire; Artemis wanted to puke. 

“Or your sister, sister,” Cheshire added. 

“I think it’s the perfect way to greet  _ you _ ,” Artemis spat, still pointing the crossbow at her father. 

Cheshire snickered lightly, “It seems someone isn’t happy to see us.”

“You’re welcome anytime Jade,” Artemis turned her head to look at her sister, “It’s  _ him _ who’s not welcome here.” 

“We need your help,” her dad said gruffly, and Artemis knew just how much it hurt his pride to even ask; not that it mattered obviously, she doesn’t care if he rots in hell let alone has his pride hurt. 

“Yeah?” she said, “Well you’re not getting it.” 

“Artemis, please,” Jade pleaded, “This job is too much for even the two of us to pull off, we need your help.”

“I thought you were done with this,” Artemis shot her sister a look, “What about Lian?” 

“Lian is none of your concerned,” Jade fired back. 

“Come on, baby girl,” her dad said, “We could use your help, for old times sake?” 

“No!” Artemis practically yelled, “I will  _ not _ help you guys, under any circumstances,  _ never _ .”

“What are you so worried about?” Jade asked, a sly look on her face, “It’s your friends isn’t it? The little heroes.” 

“What?” Artemis’s face fell, and she lowered her crossbow finally. 

“You don’t know?” Jade asked, “You really shouldn’t go around telling people of your… familial relationships.” 

“I-I haven’t.” 

“The Kid Flash knows who you are,” her dad said, “He seemed rather fond of you.” 

“Kid Flash?” Artemis asked.

“Heroes don’t want to be friends with villains,” Cheshire said. 

“I’m not a villain!” Artemis yelled, “I will  _ never  _  be one of you!” 

“You can’t change who you are, baby girl,” her dad told her, “It’s in your DNA.” 

The sound of the apartment door slamming shut made Artemis, and her family, jump. Light footsteps padded down the hallway towards Artemis. 

“Artemis, are you okay in there?” it was Zatanna. 

“Uh, yeah, I’m fine!” Artemis shouted back, and when she turned back to her sister and dad they were gone, the window open and her curtains blowing in the light breeze. 

Artemis quickly grabbed her purse and opened the door to face Zatanna. “Let’s go,” she said in a rather aggressive tone before grabbing Zatanna’s hand and dragging her out of the apartment. It was too much, her sister, her dad, they wanted her to do a job with them, she apparently knew Kid Flash; how could she have been so oblivious? She wanted to drink, scream, or hit someone. Possibly all three. She chose the most aforementioned one seeing as it was the easiest one to do. 

Artemis drove approximately a gazillion miles an hour over the speed limit, according to Zatanna (she was probably right, it had only taken them a few minutes to get to Wally and Dick’s house). 

“Artemis slow down!” Zatanna shouted over the loud music the blonde was playing, “We want to get to the party, not dead!” 

Artemis ignored her. Artemis ignored her even when they got to Dick and Wally’s. Even against Zatanna’s protests when she downed her beer in one go.

“What is wrong with you?” Zatanna asked, taking the shot Artemis had just grabbed from god knows where. 

“I’m drinking,” Artemis replied sharply, “You always told me to loosen up, have fun.” 

“You almost killed us on the way here!” 

“Whatever.” 

“Whatever?” Zatanna asked incredulously, “Are you kidding me? What happened in the past ten minutes that has sent you spiralling into the very depths of insanity?” 

“Nothing.” 

Zatanna groaned, before grabbing Artemis’s hand and pulling her behind her as she searched for Dick and Barbara. She found Dick with Wally playing beer pong.

“Dick, I need to talk to you,” Zatanna said over the music. 

“Okay.” 

“ _ Alone _ .” 

“Oh,” he turned to Wally, “I’ll be right back.” 

“Artemis, stay with Wally,” she turned towards the redhead, “Watch her.” 

\---

Wally had tried keeping an eye on Artemis, he really had. But the first two seconds his took his eyes off of her so he could engage in conversation with someone else she had drank two shots and had her tongue down someone else’s throat (he ignored the urge to rip the guy’s head off, it was most definitely  _ not  _ jealously). 

Then he tried talking to her, but drunk Artemis was even more infuriating than non-drunk Artemis, so he just gripped her hand and watched her out of the corner of his eye as he engaged in other conversation (he also ignored the jumping butterflies in his stomach because  _ no _ ). 

But, as it turns out Artemis was really good at taking care of herself, even when she was drunk out of her mind, so here Wally lay. Artemis had flipping him, obviously deciding enough was enough. By the time he realized what had happened she was gone; in case you couldn’t tell he had really good reflexes, especially for a superhero (and in case you couldn’t tell again, that was also sarcasm). 

“Artemis!” Wally shouted; he was standing on his tiptoes so he could see over the crowd, “Artemis! Where are you?” 

He turned towards the guy he had been talking to, “Did you see where the blonde went?” 

“I think she went up to one of the rooms with a guy,” he said stupidly. Wally cursed, bounding up the steps.

He barged into a room, and prayed Artemis was in it. 

“What the hell?” a girl shouted, nope, not Artemis definitely not Artemis. 

This time he barged into the right room, and it was definitely Artemis, practically naked making out with a guy Artemis. While Wally attempted to ignore the fact that Artemis was hot as hell did not work, he didn’t even manage to ignore the urge to kill this guy (unlike earlier).   
“Stop!” he yelled, “Stop, doing… that.” 

“Wally?” Artemis half shrieked, “What are you doing?” 

“Stopping you.” 

The guy in the bed next to her (well, more like under her) grumbled, “Is this your boyfriend?” 

“No,” Artemis said at the same time as Wally said “Yes.” 

“What?” Artemis gave Wally a death stare, “He’s not my boyfriend.” 

“ _ Yes _ , I am,” he said forcefully, “And I am giving you ten seconds to get out of the room before I personally kick your ass.” 

The guy went to get out of the bed, but Artemis grabbed his arm, “Wait, he’s not my boyfriend.” 

“Whatever,” guy said, grabbing his shirt, “I’m out.” 

Wally stepped aside to let the guy leave, and shut the door once he was out. 

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” he asked, tapping his foot in attempt to burn up some of the pent up energy. 

“I thought I was about to get laid,” she said, “Before  _ someone  _ messed it all up.” 

“You’re drunk.” Wally ignored Artemis’s toned abs. If he was going to talk she was going to need a shirt. 

“Yet I still managed to handle you just fine,” she leaned back on the bed, crossing her arms. It was true, the alcohol didn’t really seem to be affecting her too much. 

There was a long pause. Wally started rummaging through his drawers before pulling out a red Flash shirt (he bought it purely for the irony, he would’ve gotten a Kid Flash one, but they didn’t have it in his size). 

“Put a shirt on,” he said gruffly, 

Artemis wordless pulled the shirt on over her, and Wally also ignored the butterflies that accompanied seeing her in his shirt. 

“Why are you here?”   
“According to Zatanna, you’re out of control,” he said, avoiding looking at her. Maybe the shirt was worse than not the shirt. 

“Fuck Zatanna.” 

“What’s wrong with you?” he asked, it came out louder than he meant. 

“What’s wrong with  _ me _ ?” she repeated, “Nothing is  _ wrong  _ with me.” 

“For the past hour you’ve been on some sort of self destructive rampage!” 

Artemis looked away from him. “I have not,” she said quietly. 

“Yes you have,” Wally sat down on the bed next to her, “Look, I don’t know what happened, but you need to talk to someone.” 

I’m fine, Wally,” she told him in a rather harsh tone, “There’s nothing wrong.” 

The redhead stood up and pinched the bridge of his nose before pacing the length of the room. How could someone be so stubborn and in denial? 

“What,” she said, a statement, not a question, well it could’ve been but it was said very flatly. 

“I just don’t get you!” Wally threw his hands up, “You’re just so- so, agh!” 

“Very descriptive,” Artemis said in attempt to lighten the mood. 

“No changing the subject.” 

“You want to talk about changing the subject?” Artemis began, “You’re the one who barged in here, said you were my  _ boyfriend _ , then after the guy I was about to fuck left you proceeded to tell me my life was a mess. You didn’t bother to acknowledge that you called myself your boyfriend.”

Wally started to say something, before stopping. 

“Yeah,” Artemis stood to look him in the eye (another thing to add to the list of things Wally had ignored tonight: how close they were).

“It’s- it’s,” Wally sputtered, “I was told to watch you and make sure you were okay.” 

“I’m fine,” Artemis replied, “You didn’t need to watch me.” 

“Just so you know, you’ve said the words ‘fine’ and ‘nothing is wrong’ approximately five times in this conversation alone,” Wally pointed out, and this time he couldn’t ignore how close they were. He could feel Artemis’s breath gently blowing on his neck as she breathed. 

“It’s because I am,” Artemis huffed. 

“Look, I’ve gotten pretty good at reading people and you are definitely not fine,” Wally flopped onto the bed and sighed, “You just need to talk to someone. It doesn’t even have to be me.” 

“You wouldn’t understand,” Artemis sighed and sat on bed next to him. 

“Oh? Why not?” 

“It’s just family stuff,” Artemis explained, “And you’ve got that whole ‘perfect family’ midwestern vibe about you.”

“I do not!” he protested. 

“Yes you do,” Artemis laughed lightly; but it wasn’t much of a laugh, more like a fast expulsion of air combined with a sigh. 

“So,” Wally trailed off and nudged Artemis’s leg with his shoulder, “You’re having family issues? I thought you and your mom were good?”

Artemis was bewildered for a moment before she remembered this boy (guy-guy? He didn’t feel like a guy) knew practically everything about her life. 

“We are good,” she nodded, “It’s-” 

Artemis stopped, could she tell him? Would he even believe her? 

“It’s my dad,” Artemis stopped and bit her lip before adding, “And my sister.” 

“What?” Wally asked, hoping he sounded believable. Obviously he already knew of her familial state, and given recent events wouldn’t be surprised if Sportsmaster had payed his daughter a lovely visit. 

“We’ve never had the healthiest relationship,” she looked at Wally warily, “My mom was in prison, and for the first sixteen years of my life I was raised by my dad. He wasn’t exactly the best father,” she let out a dry, humorless chuckle that made Wally’s heart wrench (a little part of him swears the list of things he’s ignored about Artemis tonight has been about a bajillion things, but he also ignores that too).

“And?” 

“My dad decided it would be a good idea to pick today to say hi,” she tried a smile, “It’s fine Wally.” 

At some point (he knew when it just sounded better this way), Wally had sat up and instead of ignoring how close they were this time, Wally was aware. Very aware. 

“So-,” Artemis started, and she would’ve kept going had Wally’s lips not been on her’s. He had grabbed her cheeks (kind of roughly, but like not, like tenderly too) and pulled her in for a kiss, it wasn’t a deep or passionate one, but it was still a kiss. Artemis froze (she most definitely did not take note on how soft his lips were) (and Wally most definitely did not take note on how Artemis’s lips were rough and crack and how she really probably needed to put on chapstick and drink more water). She wasn’t sure what to do, so she went with the logical choice: she headbutted him.  

He scrabbled backwards off the bed and onto his feet. He clutched his nose and tilted his head back, “What the hell?” 

“What do you mean what the hell?” Artemis shouted back, trying to will the flush to leave her cheeks, “You- you kissed me!”   
“You head-butted me!” 

“You startled me!” Artemis was aware of how they were still shouting, and how she really wished she had kissed him back, and Wally could not ignore the fact that he didn’t regret kissing Artemis (despite his best attempts to punch those feelings). 

“I-I,” Wally stopped, “I was caught up in the moment.” 

“Moment?” Artemis practically screeched, “There was no moment!” 

Artemis had stood and was standing in front of the door, hand poised over the handle. 

“Yes there was!” Wally argued, also aware of how they were practically speaking in caps lock. 

“No there wasn’t,” Artemis opened the door, “And I’m leaving. Good-bye Wally.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS I KNOW THIS SUCKED BUT I LOVED WRITING IT SM I WANT TO WRITE FROM WALLY MORE OFTEN

**Author's Note:**

> So this is going to be a multi-chapter fic and I have about seven to eight chapter planned, but it could go longer it really just depends.


End file.
